Blue.
Blue sky.
Blue sea.
Blue reflections.
Blue everywhere.
This endless blue hell truly has no end.
At this point I genuinely believe the ocean exists solely to torment me personally.
The waves are blue.
The horizon is blue.
The stupid curtains inside the cabin are blue.
Even the light somehow becomes blue after enough hours at sea.
I have developed something dangerously close to racism toward colors.
If I survive this voyage, I never want to see blue again.
Earlier today I stared at the ocean long enough that I briefly considered throwing my quill into the water just to see if the ink could spread far enough to improve the scenery.
Unfortunately the sea is too large.
A disappointing realization.
The only thing currently preserving my sanity is the fact Spathian is here.
Though honestly I am also still upset with him.
Apparently he was on Isla De La Luna the entire time.
The entire time.
And he said absolutely nothing.
Meanwhile he somehow had enough free time to casually visit Master Root and wander around the island like some cryptid nobody informed me about.
I am genuinely offended.
Worse.
Master Root already knew him.
Which means everyone except me apparently participated in some secret conspiracy dedicated specifically to irritating me.
I still have not forgiven him.
Though admittedly I became less angry after Ryn finally agreed to call me Reine.
That made me surprisingly happy.
Unfortunately Ryn herself has been… strange.
Very strange.
For the past three days she has mostly remained inside her cabin crying.
Which honestly feels excessive considering even I — the person actually born on that island — did not react that dramatically after departure.
The first day aboard the Leviathan Fleet was especially terrible.
At one point she was crying loudly enough that Uncle Kael himself tried comforting her.
Which somehow only made things worse.
Then Ryn suddenly stood up and shouted directly at him.
Honestly the scene reminded me of the old story about David and Goliath.
Though realistically David winning makes complete sense.
If calculated properly, the sling stone would have traveled around 160 kilometers per hour.
That is essentially bringing a cannon to a knife fight.
Naturally Goliath died.
Anyway.
According to Uncle Kael, Ryn’s shouting awakened old childhood trauma from the years Madam Roderick apparently bullied him.
I still do not fully understand how someone as terrifying as the High Admiral of the Leviathan Fleet can be emotionally defeated by a noblewoman.
But life continues to surprise me.
At the moment Ryn has mostly locked herself inside her room.
I do not wish to disturb her.
Hopefully she will recover soon.
Now…
Spathian.
He has been obsessing over blueprints almost nonstop these past few days.
Muttering to himself constantly.
Earlier today, before I started writing this entry, I overheard him whispering:
“it will work… i know it… now it’s perfect… i will build it when i am home…”
Naturally curiosity defeated common sense again.
So I peeked.
It was not a spoon this time.
Honestly I almost wish it had been.
The blueprint looked absurdly complicated.
Most of it made no sense to me.
The only thing I managed to read before everything happened was something involving a reactor.
Then suddenly his expression changed.
One moment he looked excited.
Almost feverish.
The next moment…
He became very quiet.
Not empty.
Not cold.
Just thoughtful.
His eyes softened in a way that reminded me painfully of Madam Roderick speaking gently to me…
Or Ryn quietly fixing my room without being asked.
Then he smiled.
Small.
Tired.
And without hesitation, he tore the blueprint apart piece by piece until nothing remained.
At that exact moment, I suddenly remembered something Master Root once told me.
“You can't truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence.
If you're not capable of violence, you're not peaceful.
You're harmless.”
And for some reason…
My heart stopped.
Not metaphorically.
Actually stopped.
Or at least it felt that way.
My face became so hot even my ears hurt.
Perhaps I truly do have a heart condition.
I probably should have visited the academy healer before leaving home.
Then suddenly Spathian noticed me spying on him.
He grinned like an idiot and shouted:
“Wife, wanna go fishing? I made spoon-shaped bait.”
Now I am writing this while sitting beside him on the deck.
He is currently focused very seriously on fishing while explaining why spoon-shaped bait possesses superior hydrodynamic properties.
I am still upset with him.
But admittedly…
Not enough to leave.
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