It has been almost ten days since I returned from beneath the World Tree.
Ten days since I witnessed something I still cannot fully arrange into human understanding.
Everything since then has felt distant.
Muted.
Like waking from a nightmare only to realize the nightmare left physical evidence behind.
Because the white fox mask is still here.
Resting on the table beside the bed.
Proof.
I considered throwing it away many times.
Burning it.
Leaving it somewhere far from me.
But every time I thought about doing so, another thought followed immediately after:
If I discard it…
Then everything I endured beneath Yggdra becomes meaningless.
And somehow that felt worse.
So the mask remained.
Watching silently from the table while I locked myself inside this room for ten straight days.
Ryn visited every day.
Usually only briefly.
She brought food.
Tea.
Sometimes fresh clothes.
She never pressured me to speak.
Never forced conversation.
Only asked softly if I was alright.
And every day I answered the same way.
“I’m fine.”
It was not entirely a lie.
I simply needed time to process everything.
Or perhaps I hoped that if enough time passed, my mind would eventually sand away the sharp edges of memory on its own.
It did not.
Today marks the tenth day.
I promised myself I would leave the room today.
So I stood.
And stared at the fox mask for a long time.
White.
Beautiful.
Perfect.
I hated it.
Eventually I sighed and picked it up anyway.
The moment my fingers touched it, a faint nausea returned immediately.
Still…
I placed it carefully inside my satchel.
Then left the room.
The streets of Lunaveil looked exactly the same as before.
Soft lantern light.
Flowing silk.
Warm laughter.
Beautiful women smiling gently beneath drifting curtains of mist.
Nothing had changed.
Only I had.
I walked south through the city.
Past The Jade Veil House.
Past The Moonthread Bazaar.
Past the places that once fascinated me so completely.
Not long ago, I could barely stop myself from staring at every Moonfen Sister who passed nearby.
Their beauty had overwhelmed me.
Their voices.
Their movements.
The strange intoxicating warmth they created around others.
Back then, I did not want to leave this city.
Now I avoided looking at them entirely.
The wonder was gone.
Not replaced with hatred.
Nor fear.
Only emptiness.
Every Moonfen Sister I passed lowered her head politely toward me.
A small gesture.
Respectful.
Perhaps even reverent.
I no longer cared enough to understand why.
Eventually I found the caravan gathered near the southern edge of the city.
Wagons.
Supplies.
Crew members preparing quietly for departure.
And Ryn.
Standing near the main wagon while organizing the others.
For the first time in ten days, I tried to smile properly.
A real smile.
Or something close enough to imitate one.
I greeted her casually and asked how the voidscale negotiation had gone.
Ryn answered softly that everything proceeded smoothly.
Then she apologized.
For leaving me there.
I told her it was not her fault.
She had no choice either.
After a brief silence, I finally asked what The First Veil had said to her before taking me away.
Ryn looked away for a moment before answering.
She said The First Veil instructed her to leave me behind temporarily.
And guaranteed my safety personally.
Then Ryn laughed quietly once.
A tired laugh.
“She also told me I could name whatever price I wanted for the voidscale.”
I nodded slowly.
Then instinctively attempted humor.
The old kind.
The easy kind.
I straightened my posture dramatically like a hero from a cheap legend and lifted my chin proudly.
“Well then…”
“Half the profits should belong to me.”
I never finished the sentence.
Something inside me failed suddenly.
The words stopped halfway out of my mouth.
My thoughts became tangled.
Even joking felt wrong now.
Artificial.
Like trying to perform normalcy while standing beside an open grave.
And then—
Ryn hugged me.
Tightly.
So tightly it almost hurt.
I froze immediately.
She kept apologizing quietly against my shoulder.
Again.
And again.
I did not know what to say.
So I said nothing.
I only stood there while she held me together in a way I no longer seemed capable of doing myself.
And for the first time since entering Yggdra…
I realized something inside me had not survived unchanged.
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