Today was supposed to feel relieving.
This morning, I woke up knowing we would finally leave Yggdra soon.
The Caravan Master decided we would travel east toward the nearest harbor city and return to Port Roderick by merchant vessel instead of taking the full overland route. With the caravan, the goods, and the profit from the Voidscale negotiation, sea travel would apparently save both time and cost.
Yesterday, I attempted to joke with Ryn.
Or at least I think that was my intention.
I told her fifty percent of the Voidscale profits should belong to me since the negotiation only succeeded because of what happened to me.
To my surprise, she agreed.
She opened a heavy chest filled with gold bars marked by the symbol of the white fox mask.
The sight alone nearly made me sick.
Ryn said I could take as much as I wanted. That I deserved it.
In the end, I took nothing.
The mask inside my satchel already weighed enough.
Even seeing the fox insignia stamped into the gold made my stomach twist.
For the entire day, I kept thinking about Kitsu.
I told myself it was unfinished business. That if I left without seeing her again, I would regret it forever.
Because despite everything—
I had already removed Yggdra from the list of places I wished to return to.
Eventually, near evening, I walked alone toward The Jade Veil House.
When I opened the door, every Moonfen Sister inside bowed deeply toward me.
Not politely.
Deeply.
I stood frozen.
Then Kitsu appeared.
She smiled brightly the moment she saw me and walked toward me with the same graceful steps I remembered.
And strangely—
the moment I saw her approaching, I realized coming here had been a mistake.
Talking to any Moonfen Sister would be the same.
Because they were all fragments of The First Veil.
The thought appeared naturally.
Cruelly.
I turned around immediately.
Then a hand caught mine.
Warm.
I stopped.
When I turned back, Kitsu looked confused.
Genuinely confused.
She asked softly why I was leaving so suddenly.
Her voice—
the familiarity of it—
felt unbearable somehow.
And before I could stop myself, I smiled slightly and said:
“So you really are all twins after all.”
Sarcasm.
Nothing more.
But the moment the words left my mouth, her expression changed.
Not anger.
Something smaller.
Something worse.
Hurt.
Kitsu walked quietly toward the reception counter afterward.
She told the attendants she would reserve a private room herself. That she would pay for it personally.
Then she returned and gently guided me upstairs.
The room was warm.
Quiet.
Tea steamed softly between us.
It still felt intimate.
But the intoxicating softness from before was gone now.
Or perhaps—
I was simply no longer capable of feeling it the same way.
Kitsu spoke first.
She said she knew I had seen something.
That the aura around me felt different now.
“Aura.”
I still do not fully understand what that means.
She said it resembled the presence of a High Spirit Noble.
She admitted she did not know the details.
Only the legends.
I frowned.
“Legends?”
“That was your birth ritual.”
I pointed at her directly when I said it.
I saw her flinch slightly.
That was when I finally realized—
I had wounded her.
Again.
Kitsu explained carefully after that.
What I witnessed beneath the World Tree was not considered normal among Moonfen Sisters.
It was sacred.
Ancient.
A story passed down through generations so their people would honor the High Spirit Nobles as beings closest to Yggdra itself.
Closest to The First Veil.
I listened quietly.
Nothing about it made sense to me anymore.
I asked the question almost immediately.
“But you are the same, aren’t you?”
Kitsu shook her head slowly.
Then, with graceful fingers, she brushed aside part of her hair.
Her ears were slightly pointed.
Subtle.
Different.
After that, she explained everything softly.
Personally.
Vulnerably.
She told me she had a biological mother.
A retired arcanist who now worked as a book merchant.
She told me she also had a father.
That Moonfen Sisters chose candidates themselves once they reached adulthood. That the men left after conception fulfilled its purpose.
She admitted the tradition probably sounded strange to humans.
Then she laughed quietly and said her father was supposedly a handsome Half-Elf according to her mother.
Not according to herself.
According to her mother.
Such a small detail.
Yet painfully human.
Kitsu continued speaking.
She said Moonfen genes were simply very dominant.
That was why they resembled one another so strongly.
But resemblance was not sameness.
She was not a fragment.
Not a copy.
Not an extension.
She had a childhood.
Memories.
A mother.
A favorite tea.
A favorite season.
She would grow older.
And one day—
she would die.
I could not speak after that.
Because suddenly—
horribly—
I understood what I had done.
I had turned an entire people into reflections of my fear.
I had looked at them and stopped seeing individuals.
Stopped seeing lives.
Stopped seeing humanity.
No—
not humanity.
Personhood.
And the worst part was realizing how easily it happened.
How quickly awe becomes dehumanization.
How fast fear simplifies people into symbols.
I remember apologizing to her.
Quietly.
I do not remember the exact words.
Only the exhaustion afterward.
The clarity.
The shame.
Tonight, I updated my journal again.
Lunaveil has returned to the list of places I wish to revisit someday.
Far in the future.
Very far.
For now—
I simply need distance from this city.
Distance enough to think clearly again.
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